The Trap of Significance
The events that create Post Traumatic Stress can often become significant in many ways. The difficulty with things we make significant, is that by making those events significant it becomes almost impossible to move past them. By definition anything we make significant become important, meaningful, valuable and a big part of our life or who we identify ourselves as. The people or events we have made significant can become a large part of what we think about, talk about, dwell on, rehash, relive and perpetrate on ourselves and other people in our life.
What if it is a choice to make something significant? What?! YES. What if it is actually a choice to make events of the past significant?
Would you consider playing with me, just for a few minutes...
Recall whatever it is for you that is most significant about the events that created Post Traumatic Stress. Get all those thoughts, feelings and emotions. Everything it has meant to you... Now, right now, just for two minutes let go of everything you have made significant about those events.
Everything you have decided is terrible, horrible, awful, mean, viscous, wrong and bad about what you have been through, just for the next two minutes, let is all go.
Everything you have decided is right, good, perfect and correct about what you have been through, just for the next two minutes, let is all go.
Everything you have decided it means, just for the next two minutes, let it all go.
What are you noticing?
What if all the things you decided those events mean...didn't mean anything? No, really. Ok, is that too much? Have I gone too far? What if those events didn't have to mean everything? Just for the next two minutes.
What if everything you have decided is awful and terrible about the events you have been through...aren't? Truth, is there anything you gained from what you have been through? Is there any part of what you have been through that has been a gift?
What if everything you have decided is right about what you have been through, isn't? There is a world of possibility beyond making events, or you, or other people right or wrong. It is called allowance.
If you are determined to hold onto what you have decided is significance about what you have been through, it makes it nearly impossible to have allowance FOR YOU.
Making past events significant is making the past more valuable than who you are today, more valuable the choices you have today...is that working for you? Is that really how you would like to be living your life?
Right now is a new moment, a new day and you can choose to let go of what you have made significant about the past. Going forward, if you find yourself getting wound up in events of the past, you can ask yourself; "am I making this significant?" If you find you are, then stop. Let it go. Choose again. Choose something else.
If you have spent a lot of time making the past significant, it can take awhile to let it go and make new choices in the face of it. Be patient with you. Have allowance for you. What if just for today the past had no significance?